Horse Jokes

And for all you Neigh Sayers...

To the veterinarians, ranchers, breeders, stable workers.  For all of you who spend countless hours caring for our equestrian friends...horse jokes from around the internet.... What would we do without the word "stable"?  You decide:  Groan or Grin?

Q: Why did the horse cross the road?

A: Because somebody shouted hay!

Q: What do you call a horse that can't lose a race?

A: Sherbet.

Q: How did the cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay for three days, and ride out on Friday?

A: His horse's name was Friday!

Q: Did you hear about the horse with the negative attitude?

A: She always said neigh.

 Q: What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?

 A: A tale of WHOA!

Q: What street do horses live on?

A: Mane St.

Q: When do vampires like horse racing?

A: When it's neck and neck.

 Q: What did the momma say to the foal?

 A: Its pasture your bedtime.

Q: What do race horses eat?

A: Fast Food.

Q: What did the waiter say to the horse?

A: I can't take your order. That's not my stable.

Q: What did one horse say to the other horse?

A: The pace is familiar but I can't remember the mane.

 Q: How do you make a small fortune in the horse industry?

 A: Start with a large fortune.

Q: What do you get if you cross a horse with a bee?

A: Neigh buzz.

Q: Where do horses get their hair done?

A: Maine.

Q: What do you call a well balanced horse?

A: Stable.

Q: What do you call a noisy horse?

A: A herd animal.

Q: How do you get a horse drunk?

A: Drink him under the stable.

Q: Why are most horses in shape?

A: Because they are on a stable diet.

 Q: What did the horse say when it fell?

 A: "I've fallen and I can't giddyup!"

Q: What did the teacher say when the horse walked into her class?

A: "Why the long face?"

Q: What is a young colt's favorite sport?

A: Stable Tennis.

Q: What did the mare tell her filly after dinner?

A: Clear the Stable.

 Q: Where do horses shop?

 A: Old Neigh-vy!

Q: Why did the anorexic start eating hay?

A: The doctor told her she needed to eat like a horse.

Q: How does a cowboy get a stallion to do odd jobs around the farm?

A: Pay him under the stable.

 Q: What kind of bread does a horse eat?

 A: Thoroughbred.

Q: How do you get a wild horse to accept a halter?

A: You turn the stables on him.

Q: A cowboy rode into town on Monday, spent six days and left on Friday.   How is this possible?

A:  Friday was the name of his horse.

There was this young filly whose owners decided to have her "fixed." The stallion next door was heartbroken, as he'd always wanted to mate with her. He pined for her constantly.

Moral of the Story?

"A pony spayed is a pony yearned."

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a horse sitting next to him.

"Are you a horse?" asked the man, surprised.

"Yes."

"What are you doing at the movies?"

The horse replied, "Well, I liked the book."

A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a miniature horse in the front seat.

"What are you doing with that horse?" He exclaimed, "You should take it to the farm."

The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the horse again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over.

"I thought you were going to take that horse to the farm!"

The man replied, "I did. We had such a good time...we are going to the beach this weekend!"

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